AM…

I need to mourn you

To let go of the ties of sweet bondage

Of reckless laughs

Of beautiful walks under the night sky

I need to shove away the words you said to me

When you were elated

When you were filled with passion

When all you could do was think of was me

I need to mourn you

To say goodbye to the memories not meant to be relived

Not meant to be tasted

Not meant to be felt

Not meant to be caressed

a loss,I should feel

a tear drops…a memory is shaken and tossed

To the land of no return

To a smile that cannot be felt

To a touch that cannot be complete

To a dance that cannot be celebrated

I say a little prayer, to a love that couldn’t fly…◇

A momentary…gaze into the light

The world is a nightmare, wake up and stay here

Let the dark thoughts drown in our faint light

With you by my side

*wakes up*

Your smile lights my very solemn gaze drenched by the dreams

Oh the dreams….

That of my long lost family

Gone

That of my slowly fading ambitions that are hard to grasp

Gone

That of a disgruntled friend who’s familiarity is bleak

Gone

But your smile…

Oh your smile in this darkness engulfing us

Makes me forget,

Makes me dwell in this moment and allow the night fairies to bring forth a slight chance of happiness and endurance

A leap

Creation?

Of tomorrow. A new tomorrow

Smile more, maybe then I will hope for more beauty and safety, in my dark and shameful reality .

*back to sleep*

xxx

Cold War

Fighting for you was like a war

Deeper and deeper

We were sinking

xxx

When you walked out through the door

You opened up my scars and bruises

xxx

For all to see, all to touch

All to feel,

xxx

Some caressed and kissed them away

Others licked the wounds and hoped they would be gone by sunrise

Some prayed the pain away and cast out whatever demons you left behind…

xxx

But some things never left

Some specks ..some dust..some fine,fine hues

xxx

Still live

Still hover around

Waiting for me , to bid them goodbye

xxx

My heart

My soul

Me…x

Slithering Words

;For light and darkness cannot harbour good fortune..

.

.

So i heard..

It was well illustrated, well layed out before me like a fine rug

“Come forth Light, come sit beside me ..be my ear”

Oh! how the dark whispers with sweet delight

Unbeknownst to me the damage to be done–

 

I listened like a desperate fool yearning for attention

Said i would perform his requests

Oh! how the dark whispers with sweet delight

Unbeknownst to me the damage that would be done–

 

i did the bad deed(s), served at his ‘highness’ calling

Dipped my tongue and my feet into the abyss of self destruction

Oh! how the dark whispers with sweet delight

Unbeknownst to me the damage that would be done–

 

“Share your ‘goodness’, i  did what you asked..,”

Give me the riches that are so mighty and vast!

Oh! how the dark whispers with sweet delight

Unbeknownst to me the damage that would be done–

 

“The darkness befits you Light, wait a little longer”

There is much in store for you , do you trust my words?

Oh! how the Dark whispers with sweet delight

Unbeknownst to me the damage that would be done–

The damage….

That was done.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I escaped it..the looming Darkness

Not without removing its fangs deep in my flesh

Not without some bruises and scratches

Some scars that are yet to heal.

But I  decided to stick to my Truth. The LIGHT. MY LIGHT.

-Hear my cry, O God; listen to my prayer. 
-From the ends of the earth I call to you, I call as my heart grows faint; lead me to the rock that is higher than I. 
-For you have been my refuge, a strong tower against the foe. 
-I long to dwell in your tent forever and take refuge in the shelter of your wings.

 

Psalms 61. 

Amen.

Passing winds

Rain pouring down hard

A soft touch turned into a cold stare

 

I rose and fell to the occasion

I often cry myself to sleep to get rid of the pain

I slide through the guilt and skip to the blame

Dodging the peary eyes of forgiveness..

I wonder..,

 

if so..

What is heartbreak if not a poison of sorts?

these passing winds..evolve.

 

THE STARS SHALL ALIGN AND REDEFINE

A drifting star

I pull it close

Towards me…

It wants to run away to see the moon friend..

I tell it ,”No…you shall meet your death if you go there.”

It refuses to listen to me. Its eyes are hooked on the other side of the universe

I can see her blood-thirsty urge to go on this adventure and visit her new found friend..

But wait…it is forbidden.

For light and dark cannot harbour good fortune. 

But can they?

She tries to convince me to join her on this escapade …..

But shall I partake ?

Day and night passes.

The adventure is yet to unravel before us…….

 

 

 

 

Here I am

Here I was

I opened my mind n soul for you to see through me

Here I was

patiently seeking your approval of me

Here I was

Filled with butterflies of sorts, could not help but  feel at home

And the pages turned,

Here I am

Trying to get back to chapter one of my self love book

Here I am

Scouring through ,trying to collect the missing pieces

Here I am

Fighting wars of mind ,body and soul in the darkness and light

……..Here I am

Breaking through

Looking up, as my answers come from God

He stays .He grows

He blossoms∇

Here I am👸

 

Part III

—to hold, is to bear

to leave, is to wear… ∇  Z

i..

was taken aback that Monday morning,

as i saw you dwindle and fade away in my thoughts,,

so effortlessly done, yet seething in pain..

you took the goodness in me…¦the softness,the lovely,the patient,the kind (so i heard)

oh how you bruised me and left me to die…

who am i now that you left me this way?

 

Who am i?

Part II

”Just because Atlantis has not been discovered

                                   does not mean it will always remain hidden.”

 

You clothe your aura so well,,

your outspoken nature tantalizing everyone you meet,,

 

I’m trapped you know?

 

Season after season i claim you ,,with no question,,,

You pride yourself in seeing me gaze up at your angelic self and give you that honor, ‘your Majesty’

 

I’m trapped you know?

 

Oh how the dew drops and soils my clothes,

How the rain will pour down heavily, with intention,

with disbelief,,

or is it already here?

RED TAPE- (miniseries)

”Breathe slow…

                                   let your breath guide you to safety..Let it.”

PART 1

I’m astounded by your witty ways

your lazy gaze

 Your innocence

Your dirty ways..ohh

Your thirst for the next best read as you cuddle yourself up , reading a book by the corner

I’m trapped you know?

Levels upon levels

of sheer grace and beauty that man may not understand until they are

immersed..

Divine! my mind says, simply divine.

I’m trapped you know?

Tune in to next week’s entry:)

RED TAPE